No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
