First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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