You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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