that's an acceptable place to lick
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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