dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
