what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
