it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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