brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize