So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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