Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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