Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I could fuck to npr.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
