i wish peter jackson would direct porn
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
