What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
