When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize