I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
