READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
