so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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