There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
