please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
