Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
