He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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