so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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