a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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