Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you would pick up someone in the library
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize