I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
