What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
