i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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