Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
