He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
