Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My dick has a subreddit
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
