if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
