my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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