There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
