Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
