I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
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It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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