I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
