Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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