Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
