I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Terrible idea I love it
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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