my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
