the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Randomize
