I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
