Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
