I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
