You can't motorboat a personality
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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