Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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