You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Couch. On fire.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
