I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
