I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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