are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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