I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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