Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
