He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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