You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
