I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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