i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
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my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
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I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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