is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
