Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
