Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
