Taylor Swift is so right about you.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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