she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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