I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
