My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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