I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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